Phulkari Treasures

I went visiting Adesh's relatives in the interiors of Punjab during the second leg of the vacation. It was hard core Punjabi culture at its full. Since I was visiting them first time after our wedding, (though its seems a lifetime ago to me!), the ladies were all decked up to welcome me. And I, the supposedly new bride, was dressed in summer casuals. Thank God I was in right mind to dress in Salwar Kameez. Anyways, back to the relatives. They welcomed me with Phulkaris, my favorite. And I was already loving them. Generation old phulkaris adorned by these beautiful ladies.

Each Chachi had a different story to tell about her phulkari. How and when it was made? Who gifted it to her? What was the occasion? I was enthralled. How I love these tales, they did not even know.

Since it was peak summer, with no rains and long power cuts, the hand fans or pakhhis were out. These pakhhis were also embroidered with phulkari and had been in the household since ages. The ladies still make these hand fans on their own, and they even showed me a couple of these with work in progress. I could not help requesting them to make some for me as well. I was going crazy and Adesh was just laughing at me.

In the evening when we left I still had those beautiful treasures in my eyes.

Trvelogue: Sarahan & Sangla -I

We had been planning for a fortnight vacation for over six months. It was to be in the end of May or beginning of June. Eventually we planned it for the second half of June. Since the economic downturn, we were contemplating whether to go ahead with the planned vacation or not. But what the hell! Approved leaves of 15 days are hard to come by, for me as well as Adesh. So we thought of 'budget holiday'.

One week of budget travel and one week at home in Punjab.

We decided to go to Sangla Valley in Himachal Pradesh. And, we planned to travel by Himachal Roadways bus.

The itinerary was:

14th June: Gurgaon- Chandigarh
15th June: Chandigarh- Sarahan
16th June: Sarahan- Sangla
17th June: Sangla
18th June: Sangla
19th June: Sangla- Thanedhar
20th June: Thanedhar- Chandigarh

Lonely Planet and K Srinivasan's blog helped a lot in planning the trip.

The stay was in budget guest houses and Himachal Tourism hotel. We booked the Himachal Tourism hotel in Sarahan beforehand through their website. The bus schedule at HRTC website also helped, and my brother got the bus ticket booked in advance from Chandigarh.

The bags were packed. The excitement was high. And, we were raring to say- "Let's Go!!!"

Tryst with Phulkari

My tryst with Phulkari began years back when as a young girl I accompanied my mother to the market while she was scouting for a Phulkari dupatta for her bottle green suit. And years later when I was looking for a dupatta to complement my suit of similar shade, I could settle for no less. Somewhere in the back of mind, that outing had stuck and I somehow convinced Ma to give me her dupatta. I eventually wore the same dupatta for my wedding celebrations, during the ceremony. mehndiPhulkari is considered to be auspicious and forms an essential part of wedding celebrations in Punjab, a must for any Punjabi girl’s trousseau.

A reference to Phulkari in literature comes from Guru Nanak Devji who wrote: "Kadd kasidha paihren choli, tan tu jane nari" (only when you can embroider your own choli, will you be accepted as a woman)

Discovering the family heirlooms: Phulkari

I am writing this post on our way back from trip to Patiala, while Adesh is driving on NH1.
During my last visit, I had discovered some Phulkaris at home and I continued from where I had left last time.

Beeji often tells tales of how as a bunch of young girls, she, her sisters, cousins and friends, they used to sit together and embroider their Phulkaris. Phulkari, literally means, embroidery of flowers, and is usually done in geometric patterns. She recalled that they used to get a special fabric called tool, from the town of Bathinda as they could not get it anywhere else. She showed one of her creations on tool. This one is in red colour with embroidery in mustard thread. It also has her name embroidered. It says: “Dari buni Gurdial Kaur Harnam Kaur Chatan Kaur te Jasmer Kaur.” (This piece was embroidered by Gurdial Kaur, Harnam kaur, Chatan Kaur and Jasmer Kaur). The piece of art also had some stains and marks on it. Beeji explained that this is on the part which was used to cover the head, and the stains are of wet earthern pitchers, which were used to carry water in those times.



I got the piece dry cleaned, and wow, it has some original sheen still left on it. I am going to use this piece of family heirloom as a dupatta for myself.


PS: We just crossed Karnal. iPod playing ABBA song I had a dream...

Bagh and Phulkari- Traditional Treasures

I went home to Patiala last week and this time I was on a mission. I wanted to re-discover the traditional stuff of Patiala- Phulkari, Salwar, Jutti, Parandiyan. Though I have been using all of these in my day to day life, but the beauty of these never fails to enthral me. So, off I went to the local market, tagging along Bhuaji. And, there was beautiful antique stuff to chose from.

When I reached back home and showed my new acquisitions to Beeji, she said, "Aide layee bazaar jaan di ki lorh si. Eh sabh ta ghar hi bathera peya hai." (Why did you have to go to market for such stuff. All this is lying at home in abundance). And was I surprised!!

I went into the attic and started exploring th

e old stuff that had come from village when they shifted to the city. What came out was absolute treasure, wrapped in everlasting memories...

Among other things, I came across my favourite, 7-8 Baghs. Beeji saw me draping around myself and got nostalgic.

Traditionally, Baghs were woven and embroidered for the trousseau of the bride. During Beeji's childhood and times before that, young girls were taught the intricate Phulkari so that they could decorate the furnishings and apparel. The patterns could be floral (phul) or geometric or animals. Actually, the name Phulkari comes from Phul, which means flower. Young girls would first weave the cloth- red, orange, brown- and then start the embroidery. One Bagh would take at least a month for the entire start to end process. Baghs are full length dupattas covered entirely with phulkari.

I brought a couple of them with me. These one's are really special as they are not just family heirlooms, but a labour of love and gifted with love.

Live Punjabi, Play Punjabi...

This is the anthem of Kings XI Punjab team. Whenever I hear this, I just start dancing. I am just so on to this song. And over the days I have realised, I support the team of my janambhoomi more than the Daredevils of my karambhoomi.

I just hope that Kings XI Punjab wins this season's IPL. And as Yuvraj says, Aaja Baee...

IPL- The Tamasha Begins

The much hyped and much awaited Cricket ka Karamyuddh, the Indian Premier League, starts today. It is being said that this will change the way cricket is played, forever.

Well, I am all for Kings XI Punjab, after all its the team of my janambhoomi, Punjab. But then, I also support the team of my karambhoomi, Delhi Daredevils.

Today, the first encounter is between my favorite cricketer's team, Rahul Dravid's team (Royal Challengers) and my favourite actor's team, Shah Rukh's team (Kolkata Knight Riders).

Oh! I am so confused. My loyalties are just shifting sides. I think for today's match I'll just sit in front of the TV screen and enjoy.

Wedding Chronicles- XI

After all the ceremonies, I was so very tired. Infact, Adesh started making a note of the rituals that we had to go through. Phew!!!

Well, next one week was mostly at home.

The next day, that is, on 20th Nov we went back to my parents place for phera. We stayed there overnight and returned back the next evening. A day later we went to Adesh's ancestral village to pay homage at the Gurudwara there.

But, over that one week, I had very anxious moments. The bride is not supposed to enter kitchen for a minimum of 11 days. This period can go over to 40 days as well. But, I insisted on 11 days. Imagine, everytime you need water, you ask someone to please get it for you, in your own house!!! Though Adesh's family, which is now My Family made me feel very comfortable, I still had initial ionhibitions in terms of opening my mouth too much.

After spending a week at Patiala, we finally returned to Gurgaon, to a new home, to a new life!

Wedding Chronicles- X

Ceremony IX: Reception


The next day, on 19th Nov, there was Reception function. It was a day function, that started at 12.00pm. But for me, the day started pretty early. I left for parlour at around 10.30 am. Again it was the same exercise. Wearing heavy dress, read lehnga, adorning heavy ornaments and putting on make-up. Thankfully, this time it was an old acquaintance of Ma, who has a parlour. So, it was comfortable and customised for me.

At around 12.00, Adesh and my nanad, came to pick me, and we went to the venue. There were already a lot of guests. We were taken for a round of introductions. My neck started aching with constant bowing to the elders, not that I resented it. After coverning every nook and corner of the venue, we were taken for a session by photographers. And that, believe me, is a pain.

After a gruelling half an hour with the camera guys, we went for another painful session. This is called sitting on the stage. Two huge chairs, more like thrones, were set up for us. I couldn't believe that the decorator intended us to sit on those. But we had no option. So, after throwing some tantrums, the newly wed couple went to the stage.

By this time, my parents had arrived. I was so glad to see them. It was a similar feeling that comes when you go to hostel, and parents visit you for the first time. Though it had been just a day that I had been away from them, considering that I stay away from my parents, I was grinning.

It was all set for us to cut the ceremonial, three tier cake. It was a yum pineapple cake. And, we were made to eat so much of it, I think I'll never ever eat pineapple cake agin.

Then, the gifting ceremony and photography started. A lot of smiling!!!

Another hour and we started looking for an excuse to get off the thrones. And, we managed to do that pretty soon. How? We simply hit the dance floor. And then, there was no going back up. We grabbed a couple of VIP chairs (read front row chairs) and watched the family members celebrate our wedding. We were mere spectators!

Jokes apart, after so many days of functions and travelling, we were very exhausted. So, we quickly had lunch. And after another hour or so, we left the venue.

Finally, I could get rid of the make-up, the jewellery and the heavy clothes. And, I watched TV. It was already evening. Relatives had left. It was only the new family. Fortunately, I was the VIP! The next few days would be a test for me, I was wondering. I planned to take it it as it would come.

Wedding Chronicles- IX

Ceremony VIII: Munhdikhai

At around 8.00pm, we reached Patiala, Adesh's home. Everyone was eagerly waiting for the bride! I was delighted at the grand welcome.

My Ma-in-law, first welcomed me at the doorstep with sweets. Then we went inside and I was introduced to all the relatives. Both of us were made to sit on a sofa, and everyone came and gave their blessings, and of course the gifts! It was for bride's munhdikhai (face viewing).

After an hour or so, we had dinner, and finally I could change into a salwar-kameez, and get rid of the heavy jewellery. It was a relief!

Wedding Chronicles- VIII

Ceremony VII: Doli

After Lunch (after Anand Karaj), we left the hotel, accompanied by the band and the entire set of relatives to our home. Ma and Papa and my side of relatives had left a little earlier. So, when we reached, it was all set to make me push out of the house!!! It was quite an emotional atmosphere.

My cousin sisters were given kalicharis (gold bands) by the groom, and they applied mehndi on Adesh's palms.

Then, Ma made us both drink milk. Finally, it was time to say good-bye. As we were coming out in the courtyard, I threw back rice grains, symbolising that I had paid back the debt to my Parents. I was all tears when I was hugging my Parents and Brother. As we sat in the flower decked car, the Doli, Papa, my brother, other male relatives and Pap's friends, all pushed the car till we left the threshold.

The feeling at that moment was so different. I had never thought that I'll feel so sad, considering that I have been staying away from home for more around 9 years. All I could think was that every time there is a chutti, I will not come to this place, but to a new home. And, I was so nervous of being a part of a new household.

Wedding Chronicles- VII

Ceremony- VI: Anand Karaj

18th November, 2007 was a BIG day in my life.... my Wedding Day.

I got up early in the morning, around 6.00am. Two of my very close friends, Shaziya and Roshan had arrived late night before. And Shaziya and me left for the beauty parlour at around 7.30am. I was having butterflies in my stomach. After reaching the parlour, I found out that there was another bride who was to get ready and incidentally, she had been my classmate for one year in school. Small world indeed!

Eventually, I put on the very heavy lehnga. I was so scared it will just slide down because of its weight! Then, the parlour lady started the process with my face, then hair and finally she fixed the dupatta. At around 9.30am, I was all set and Shaziya tied kalirhas (chandelier like ornament) to my bangles. Wow was I looking good! Ma came there to look at me and started crying. I wonder why Moms are so emotional.

Well, then me and Shaziya went home, where my grandmother was there waiting for me. At around 11.30am, Ma, Papa and my brother Gaurav came to take me for the ceremony. This was to be held in the Gurudwara. The baraat (Groom's people) had arrived at around 10.30am at Hotel Sepal, had their breakfast and were waiting at Gurudwara.

When I reached Gurudwara, my brother and cousins left my side to search for Adesh's juttis. Jutti Churai is a very entertaining ritual of Indian shaadis. And my brother wanted to make the most of it. More about it later. When I entered the Gurudwara, Adesh was already sitting and he was looking so handsome... I just couldn't keep my eyes off him!

The rituals started in another 10 minutes with ardaas, then Papa taking off Adesh's sehra, and handing me his palla. Then the reciting of the hymns started, that is the Anand Karaj. In Sikhism, there are four pheras around Guru Granth Sahib and these pheras are called laavaan. Each laan is preceded by reciting the corresponding hymn. After each laan, we bowed and sat down. Then, the hymn were recited for next laan, we got up, completed the laan and came back. After the four laanvaan were completed, there was ardaas again and we were proclaimed husband and wife! Congratulations followed.

After we came out, the drama of the cousins, with Adesh's juttis hidden, started. They were demanding money in return for the shoes. And, they got that too. It turned out that my smart brother bribed Adesh's driver to take out shoes from the car and his comment on the same was, "Its all about money, honey!"

Then me and Adesh accompanied by his sister proceeded for Hotel Sepal. We were welcomed by the band and went for the long and tiring photo session. Post the photo session, we were made to sit on a stage so that every one could see us. This was so embarrassing. Then every family came turn wise to give us gifts and get a photograph clicked. Aaaw... this is so bad. My face started aching from smiling so long.

Finally, after an hour we came down, sat with some relatives, danced a little and had lunch. It was already 3.30pm by then. It was time now for Doli. The details about this in next blog. I am done for today's typing.

Wedding Chronicles- VI

Ceremony- V: Choorha and Vatna Ceremony

Towards evening, on 17th Nov, more guest poured in. My mamaji also reached by dinner time. We had around 50 people roaming in the house around that time- kids watching TV, ladies gossipping with their respective set of relatives, gents chatting over drinks...

After dinner, at around 10.00pm when I most people had done with dinner, we all gathered for the choorha to be put on me. The choorha is a set of red and white bangles from maternal uncle, gifted to the bride as a symbol of marriage. So here I was surrounded by all relatives and my mamaji and mamiji on either side, ready to put on the choorha. The bride is not supposed to see the choorha till this moment. My Ma had put the bangles in milk to soften them, so that they do not scratch the skin while being put on.

It was a very emotional moment for me and to be very honest, reality struck me just then that tomorrow is actually my wedding. Till that moment I had seen only others wearing choorha, but now, here I had it on my own wrists.

Once I had the choorha on, Ma was ready with vatna, which is a mixture of turmeric and gramflour. This is applied on the bride and is supposed to enhance her beauty. All cousins and relatives took turns smearing me with the paste, and I started looking yellow after a few minutes. Hours spent at parlour gone waste in a few minutes!!!

And, in another half an hour every one was ready to hit the bed. It was going to be a very long day, the next day. As for me, I took a sedative to have a sound sleep. After all, the bride could not afford to have a tiring look on the special day... the photographs wouldn't come nice!!!

Wedding Chronicles- V

Ceremony- IV: Mehndi

The next day, 17th Nov was a day to relax a little, and I mean a little only. For me it was tiring as usual. We did not have any function. It was all family members only.

The morning was scheduled for Mehndi. We had called a couple of Henna artists to put mehndi on the palms of the females. And a special artist for the bride! It took full two hours for her to put mehndi on my palms, back of hands, arms, feet and legs. I felt like a statue being painted. In the meantime, all the ladies got over with their hands.

I had to keep it for the entire day. To delay the drying, my cousin kept dabbing sugar and lemon juice all over. Its really tough being a bride! When it was lunch time, Ma fed me with a spoon. Finally at around 5pm, I scraped off the semi-dry henna, but couldn't wash it till next morning. Already the orange colour had started to turn into deep red.

Wedding Chronicles- IV

Ceremony-III: Sangeet

On 16th November itself, after the guest left, we all changed, relaxed and gathered over tea for a gossip session. And, as per true Punjabi household tradition, I was the centre of all the banter. Finally by 5.30 all the rishtedars left to get set for an evening full of music, dance, food, drinks and FUN!

The Sangeet night, is a very important part of the wedding. In fact, I feel it is the most entertaining part. Friends and family members get together to sing and dance, to celebrate the wedding in the family.

It starts with involves gathering the neighbors by taking out Jago. Jago is nothing but a decorated pitcher with lamps on it. The females of the house carry Jago over their head and gather the neighbours- singing and dancing all the while.

Then singing the traditional songs called Suhaag. It is customary to sing at least five suhaags. And then we all hit the floor, dancing to the tune of the DJ. All this is interspersed with rounds of snacks and drinks and finally the dinner.

Overall a great evening and an important day of the Wedding Week comes to an end.

Wedding Chronicles- III

Ceremony II: Chunni, Sagan & Ring Ceremony

On 16th Nov, it was three ceremonies rolled into one function.... but at least a dozen rituals involved...

The groom's side visited ours for the chunni ceremony, proclaiming the bride to be theirs. The bride's head is covered with a dupatta, and she is given things symbolising a married woman- bindi, bangles, sindoor (vermilion) and some cosmetics.

Then was the sagan ceremony where the bride's family gives the groom some customary gifts. Also, asking him to drink a glass of hot milk, topped with dry fruit. It takes a lot of courage to drink the whole thing.

And, then comes the Ring Ceremony. We exchanged the rings, proclaiming the official engagement!

Not to miss the monetary gifts given to the bride n groom for each ceremony (that's the best part... we get rich just by sitting there!)

Wedding Chronicles- II

The next four days saw guests dropping in. Me and ma were busy doing last minute shopping, going for self-beautification(!!) and making arrangements.

It was a welcome relief after those three hectic days and rejuvinating for the more hectinc ones that were just around the corner.

Wedding Chronicles-I

Its been almost a month and a half since I last hit the keys for a post... but guys it is marriage season and when you are attending weddings you are so busy, especially if its your own!!!

Now, that I am back to work, though of sharing some experience. A Punju wedding has so many ceremonies and rituals...

This is the first in the series Wedding Chronicles, with a ceremony-wise account of how I spent an important fortnight of my life.

Ceremony I: 9th November, 2007

This was the Diwali day and also the day we started 3 day Akhand Path, then the kirtan and langar after that. One big function!

All started with Papa and Gaurav getting Guru Granth Sahib from the Gurudwara. Then after ardas the path started. From around 9 am on 9th Nov to 9am on 11th Nov, continuously the priests from the Gurudwara did the path. Finally on 11th Nov we has bhog.

The same day at around 11.30 am, we had kirtan at home, for around an hour. This was followed by Guru ka Langar. The blessings of the Almighty were sought before the commencing the auspicious ceremonies.

Shop till you drop

Its festive season. And its wedding season. And above all its my wedding!!! All the reasons to Shop till I Drop. For the last few weeks I have been busy shopping, shopping and shopping. I have shopped in Punjab, I have shopped in Delhi and I have shopped in Gurgaon Malls. And most of the times, by the end of the day, all the fun goes out of it.

But I have learnt quite a few things. I can now distinguish between different types of crepes and silks... Jamawar, Brocade, Tusser, Tanchoi, Tissue, et al. But, so much colour and vibrance makes me colour blind at times. I am just not able to distinguish between different shades of pink or green or blue! Aha, and the jewellery!!! For myself, Ma, Grandma, In laws... Whosoever said 'Diamonds are a girl's best friends' was so true.

For me, it has been an excuse to indulge myself in the luxury of picking up things on impulse. Wow! And for once, Ma has not been after my life for the number of clothes and shoes and bags that I have.

As the weekend approaches, I am all geared up to go on a shopping spree. Yes, yet again!

Visit to Wagah

During the month of March, I was visiting Amritsar and had a chance to visit Wagah Border. Though I have lived in Punjab for most of my life, but never got a chance to visit the border. For those who are not aware, Wagah border is the border check post between India and Pakistan. It is around 30 minutes drive from the Amritsar city. I was accompanying my boss, whose friend had arranged for seats in VIP area (One of the many privileges still available in India!)

As we were approaching the border side, I could see the fencing that had been done across the fields to mark the end of our country. I felt an unusual sensation and it was exciting! With grandparents who had immigrated from the other side at the time of partition, I have very mixed feelings about our neighbour country. Nonetheless, I was too excited to visit the check post. Well, it was Sunday evening and we were going to witness the very famous closing ceremony. There were hoards of people on every possible mode of road transport heading towards the border.

As we approached the border and alighted from our vehicle, I could see the BSF and Pakistani Rangers, standing across the fence. Our guide informed us that there were many farmers on the Indian side whose land was on the other side. They have a pass and they cross over every morning, till the land and return at sunset. I had heard and read about all this, but watching those farmers crossing back was something different.

Finally, after various points of checking, we were able to view the 'Point Zero', which marks the end of Indian territory. There is an amphitheatre on both sides of the border. As the time of closing ceremony was approaching, the rush of people kept increasing. I could feel goose bumps on my arms.

People were clicking pictures at the gate. There were loudspeakers blaring patriotic songs on both the sides. One of the many differences that I noticed, on the Pakistani side, there were separate seats for males and females. One side had women in colourful burqas, while the other half had men mostly in kurta-salwar. While on the Indian side there was no such demarcation!

The drama began when a man with a microphone emerged in the centre of the crowd and started urging the crowd to repeat the slogans after him. And he started, "Hindustan Zindabaad" The crowd went berserk (including the two of us!) shouting after him.
Then came "Bharat Mata ki Jai", and the third one "Vande Matram". We have all done that during our school days, but there at the border, my voice had a new enthusiasm. I was experiencing patriotism of a different kind.


Our patriotic slogans were followed by similar shouts from the other side, "Allah o Akbar" and "Pakistan Zindabad", with equal fervor.
After various such rounds, a few puzzled foreign tourists sitting next to me asked, "What are they saying?" I explained to her and with an amused look on her face, one of them asked, "But why do you need to shout that???"

I just could not explain that to her. I feel, no one else anywhere in the world can feel the same way as Indians and Pakistanis do here. I have known people from both nations to be at very friendly terms when together in any other part of the world, but here it all changes!
May be the feeling that comes while watching an Indo-Pak cricket or hockey match, can come very close to this.

Anyways, the wait for watching the very famous ceremony of gate closure and taking down of the National Flags, was worth it. As the sepoy blew horn, indicating the time, the guards from both sides came marching. There feet almost touched thier turbans!!!!!!!!!!! You have to watch it to believe it! And enjoy it!

As the guards shook hands for the last time for that day, and the National Anthem was played, the National Flags of both the countries came down in perfect harmony.

Our visit had come to an end, but something inside me had changed forever. I had heard about it from friends and relatives, who could not explain it, but now I know why they could not. All I can say is that each of the fellow countrymen should visit the place at least once. It is worth it!