Wedding Chronicles- XI

After all the ceremonies, I was so very tired. Infact, Adesh started making a note of the rituals that we had to go through. Phew!!!

Well, next one week was mostly at home.

The next day, that is, on 20th Nov we went back to my parents place for phera. We stayed there overnight and returned back the next evening. A day later we went to Adesh's ancestral village to pay homage at the Gurudwara there.

But, over that one week, I had very anxious moments. The bride is not supposed to enter kitchen for a minimum of 11 days. This period can go over to 40 days as well. But, I insisted on 11 days. Imagine, everytime you need water, you ask someone to please get it for you, in your own house!!! Though Adesh's family, which is now My Family made me feel very comfortable, I still had initial ionhibitions in terms of opening my mouth too much.

After spending a week at Patiala, we finally returned to Gurgaon, to a new home, to a new life!

Wedding Chronicles- X

Ceremony IX: Reception


The next day, on 19th Nov, there was Reception function. It was a day function, that started at 12.00pm. But for me, the day started pretty early. I left for parlour at around 10.30 am. Again it was the same exercise. Wearing heavy dress, read lehnga, adorning heavy ornaments and putting on make-up. Thankfully, this time it was an old acquaintance of Ma, who has a parlour. So, it was comfortable and customised for me.

At around 12.00, Adesh and my nanad, came to pick me, and we went to the venue. There were already a lot of guests. We were taken for a round of introductions. My neck started aching with constant bowing to the elders, not that I resented it. After coverning every nook and corner of the venue, we were taken for a session by photographers. And that, believe me, is a pain.

After a gruelling half an hour with the camera guys, we went for another painful session. This is called sitting on the stage. Two huge chairs, more like thrones, were set up for us. I couldn't believe that the decorator intended us to sit on those. But we had no option. So, after throwing some tantrums, the newly wed couple went to the stage.

By this time, my parents had arrived. I was so glad to see them. It was a similar feeling that comes when you go to hostel, and parents visit you for the first time. Though it had been just a day that I had been away from them, considering that I stay away from my parents, I was grinning.

It was all set for us to cut the ceremonial, three tier cake. It was a yum pineapple cake. And, we were made to eat so much of it, I think I'll never ever eat pineapple cake agin.

Then, the gifting ceremony and photography started. A lot of smiling!!!

Another hour and we started looking for an excuse to get off the thrones. And, we managed to do that pretty soon. How? We simply hit the dance floor. And then, there was no going back up. We grabbed a couple of VIP chairs (read front row chairs) and watched the family members celebrate our wedding. We were mere spectators!

Jokes apart, after so many days of functions and travelling, we were very exhausted. So, we quickly had lunch. And after another hour or so, we left the venue.

Finally, I could get rid of the make-up, the jewellery and the heavy clothes. And, I watched TV. It was already evening. Relatives had left. It was only the new family. Fortunately, I was the VIP! The next few days would be a test for me, I was wondering. I planned to take it it as it would come.

Wedding Chronicles- IX

Ceremony VIII: Munhdikhai

At around 8.00pm, we reached Patiala, Adesh's home. Everyone was eagerly waiting for the bride! I was delighted at the grand welcome.

My Ma-in-law, first welcomed me at the doorstep with sweets. Then we went inside and I was introduced to all the relatives. Both of us were made to sit on a sofa, and everyone came and gave their blessings, and of course the gifts! It was for bride's munhdikhai (face viewing).

After an hour or so, we had dinner, and finally I could change into a salwar-kameez, and get rid of the heavy jewellery. It was a relief!

Wedding Chronicles- VIII

Ceremony VII: Doli

After Lunch (after Anand Karaj), we left the hotel, accompanied by the band and the entire set of relatives to our home. Ma and Papa and my side of relatives had left a little earlier. So, when we reached, it was all set to make me push out of the house!!! It was quite an emotional atmosphere.

My cousin sisters were given kalicharis (gold bands) by the groom, and they applied mehndi on Adesh's palms.

Then, Ma made us both drink milk. Finally, it was time to say good-bye. As we were coming out in the courtyard, I threw back rice grains, symbolising that I had paid back the debt to my Parents. I was all tears when I was hugging my Parents and Brother. As we sat in the flower decked car, the Doli, Papa, my brother, other male relatives and Pap's friends, all pushed the car till we left the threshold.

The feeling at that moment was so different. I had never thought that I'll feel so sad, considering that I have been staying away from home for more around 9 years. All I could think was that every time there is a chutti, I will not come to this place, but to a new home. And, I was so nervous of being a part of a new household.

Wedding Chronicles- VII

Ceremony- VI: Anand Karaj

18th November, 2007 was a BIG day in my life.... my Wedding Day.

I got up early in the morning, around 6.00am. Two of my very close friends, Shaziya and Roshan had arrived late night before. And Shaziya and me left for the beauty parlour at around 7.30am. I was having butterflies in my stomach. After reaching the parlour, I found out that there was another bride who was to get ready and incidentally, she had been my classmate for one year in school. Small world indeed!

Eventually, I put on the very heavy lehnga. I was so scared it will just slide down because of its weight! Then, the parlour lady started the process with my face, then hair and finally she fixed the dupatta. At around 9.30am, I was all set and Shaziya tied kalirhas (chandelier like ornament) to my bangles. Wow was I looking good! Ma came there to look at me and started crying. I wonder why Moms are so emotional.

Well, then me and Shaziya went home, where my grandmother was there waiting for me. At around 11.30am, Ma, Papa and my brother Gaurav came to take me for the ceremony. This was to be held in the Gurudwara. The baraat (Groom's people) had arrived at around 10.30am at Hotel Sepal, had their breakfast and were waiting at Gurudwara.

When I reached Gurudwara, my brother and cousins left my side to search for Adesh's juttis. Jutti Churai is a very entertaining ritual of Indian shaadis. And my brother wanted to make the most of it. More about it later. When I entered the Gurudwara, Adesh was already sitting and he was looking so handsome... I just couldn't keep my eyes off him!

The rituals started in another 10 minutes with ardaas, then Papa taking off Adesh's sehra, and handing me his palla. Then the reciting of the hymns started, that is the Anand Karaj. In Sikhism, there are four pheras around Guru Granth Sahib and these pheras are called laavaan. Each laan is preceded by reciting the corresponding hymn. After each laan, we bowed and sat down. Then, the hymn were recited for next laan, we got up, completed the laan and came back. After the four laanvaan were completed, there was ardaas again and we were proclaimed husband and wife! Congratulations followed.

After we came out, the drama of the cousins, with Adesh's juttis hidden, started. They were demanding money in return for the shoes. And, they got that too. It turned out that my smart brother bribed Adesh's driver to take out shoes from the car and his comment on the same was, "Its all about money, honey!"

Then me and Adesh accompanied by his sister proceeded for Hotel Sepal. We were welcomed by the band and went for the long and tiring photo session. Post the photo session, we were made to sit on a stage so that every one could see us. This was so embarrassing. Then every family came turn wise to give us gifts and get a photograph clicked. Aaaw... this is so bad. My face started aching from smiling so long.

Finally, after an hour we came down, sat with some relatives, danced a little and had lunch. It was already 3.30pm by then. It was time now for Doli. The details about this in next blog. I am done for today's typing.

Wedding Chronicles- VI

Ceremony- V: Choorha and Vatna Ceremony

Towards evening, on 17th Nov, more guest poured in. My mamaji also reached by dinner time. We had around 50 people roaming in the house around that time- kids watching TV, ladies gossipping with their respective set of relatives, gents chatting over drinks...

After dinner, at around 10.00pm when I most people had done with dinner, we all gathered for the choorha to be put on me. The choorha is a set of red and white bangles from maternal uncle, gifted to the bride as a symbol of marriage. So here I was surrounded by all relatives and my mamaji and mamiji on either side, ready to put on the choorha. The bride is not supposed to see the choorha till this moment. My Ma had put the bangles in milk to soften them, so that they do not scratch the skin while being put on.

It was a very emotional moment for me and to be very honest, reality struck me just then that tomorrow is actually my wedding. Till that moment I had seen only others wearing choorha, but now, here I had it on my own wrists.

Once I had the choorha on, Ma was ready with vatna, which is a mixture of turmeric and gramflour. This is applied on the bride and is supposed to enhance her beauty. All cousins and relatives took turns smearing me with the paste, and I started looking yellow after a few minutes. Hours spent at parlour gone waste in a few minutes!!!

And, in another half an hour every one was ready to hit the bed. It was going to be a very long day, the next day. As for me, I took a sedative to have a sound sleep. After all, the bride could not afford to have a tiring look on the special day... the photographs wouldn't come nice!!!

Wedding Chronicles- V

Ceremony- IV: Mehndi

The next day, 17th Nov was a day to relax a little, and I mean a little only. For me it was tiring as usual. We did not have any function. It was all family members only.

The morning was scheduled for Mehndi. We had called a couple of Henna artists to put mehndi on the palms of the females. And a special artist for the bride! It took full two hours for her to put mehndi on my palms, back of hands, arms, feet and legs. I felt like a statue being painted. In the meantime, all the ladies got over with their hands.

I had to keep it for the entire day. To delay the drying, my cousin kept dabbing sugar and lemon juice all over. Its really tough being a bride! When it was lunch time, Ma fed me with a spoon. Finally at around 5pm, I scraped off the semi-dry henna, but couldn't wash it till next morning. Already the orange colour had started to turn into deep red.

Wedding Chronicles- IV

Ceremony-III: Sangeet

On 16th November itself, after the guest left, we all changed, relaxed and gathered over tea for a gossip session. And, as per true Punjabi household tradition, I was the centre of all the banter. Finally by 5.30 all the rishtedars left to get set for an evening full of music, dance, food, drinks and FUN!

The Sangeet night, is a very important part of the wedding. In fact, I feel it is the most entertaining part. Friends and family members get together to sing and dance, to celebrate the wedding in the family.

It starts with involves gathering the neighbors by taking out Jago. Jago is nothing but a decorated pitcher with lamps on it. The females of the house carry Jago over their head and gather the neighbours- singing and dancing all the while.

Then singing the traditional songs called Suhaag. It is customary to sing at least five suhaags. And then we all hit the floor, dancing to the tune of the DJ. All this is interspersed with rounds of snacks and drinks and finally the dinner.

Overall a great evening and an important day of the Wedding Week comes to an end.

Wedding Chronicles- III

Ceremony II: Chunni, Sagan & Ring Ceremony

On 16th Nov, it was three ceremonies rolled into one function.... but at least a dozen rituals involved...

The groom's side visited ours for the chunni ceremony, proclaiming the bride to be theirs. The bride's head is covered with a dupatta, and she is given things symbolising a married woman- bindi, bangles, sindoor (vermilion) and some cosmetics.

Then was the sagan ceremony where the bride's family gives the groom some customary gifts. Also, asking him to drink a glass of hot milk, topped with dry fruit. It takes a lot of courage to drink the whole thing.

And, then comes the Ring Ceremony. We exchanged the rings, proclaiming the official engagement!

Not to miss the monetary gifts given to the bride n groom for each ceremony (that's the best part... we get rich just by sitting there!)

Wedding Chronicles- II

The next four days saw guests dropping in. Me and ma were busy doing last minute shopping, going for self-beautification(!!) and making arrangements.

It was a welcome relief after those three hectic days and rejuvinating for the more hectinc ones that were just around the corner.

Wedding Chronicles-I

Its been almost a month and a half since I last hit the keys for a post... but guys it is marriage season and when you are attending weddings you are so busy, especially if its your own!!!

Now, that I am back to work, though of sharing some experience. A Punju wedding has so many ceremonies and rituals...

This is the first in the series Wedding Chronicles, with a ceremony-wise account of how I spent an important fortnight of my life.

Ceremony I: 9th November, 2007

This was the Diwali day and also the day we started 3 day Akhand Path, then the kirtan and langar after that. One big function!

All started with Papa and Gaurav getting Guru Granth Sahib from the Gurudwara. Then after ardas the path started. From around 9 am on 9th Nov to 9am on 11th Nov, continuously the priests from the Gurudwara did the path. Finally on 11th Nov we has bhog.

The same day at around 11.30 am, we had kirtan at home, for around an hour. This was followed by Guru ka Langar. The blessings of the Almighty were sought before the commencing the auspicious ceremonies.