Wedding Chronicles- IX

Ceremony VIII: Munhdikhai

At around 8.00pm, we reached Patiala, Adesh's home. Everyone was eagerly waiting for the bride! I was delighted at the grand welcome.

My Ma-in-law, first welcomed me at the doorstep with sweets. Then we went inside and I was introduced to all the relatives. Both of us were made to sit on a sofa, and everyone came and gave their blessings, and of course the gifts! It was for bride's munhdikhai (face viewing).

After an hour or so, we had dinner, and finally I could change into a salwar-kameez, and get rid of the heavy jewellery. It was a relief!

Wedding Chronicles- VIII

Ceremony VII: Doli

After Lunch (after Anand Karaj), we left the hotel, accompanied by the band and the entire set of relatives to our home. Ma and Papa and my side of relatives had left a little earlier. So, when we reached, it was all set to make me push out of the house!!! It was quite an emotional atmosphere.

My cousin sisters were given kalicharis (gold bands) by the groom, and they applied mehndi on Adesh's palms.

Then, Ma made us both drink milk. Finally, it was time to say good-bye. As we were coming out in the courtyard, I threw back rice grains, symbolising that I had paid back the debt to my Parents. I was all tears when I was hugging my Parents and Brother. As we sat in the flower decked car, the Doli, Papa, my brother, other male relatives and Pap's friends, all pushed the car till we left the threshold.

The feeling at that moment was so different. I had never thought that I'll feel so sad, considering that I have been staying away from home for more around 9 years. All I could think was that every time there is a chutti, I will not come to this place, but to a new home. And, I was so nervous of being a part of a new household.

Wedding Chronicles- VII

Ceremony- VI: Anand Karaj

18th November, 2007 was a BIG day in my life.... my Wedding Day.

I got up early in the morning, around 6.00am. Two of my very close friends, Shaziya and Roshan had arrived late night before. And Shaziya and me left for the beauty parlour at around 7.30am. I was having butterflies in my stomach. After reaching the parlour, I found out that there was another bride who was to get ready and incidentally, she had been my classmate for one year in school. Small world indeed!

Eventually, I put on the very heavy lehnga. I was so scared it will just slide down because of its weight! Then, the parlour lady started the process with my face, then hair and finally she fixed the dupatta. At around 9.30am, I was all set and Shaziya tied kalirhas (chandelier like ornament) to my bangles. Wow was I looking good! Ma came there to look at me and started crying. I wonder why Moms are so emotional.

Well, then me and Shaziya went home, where my grandmother was there waiting for me. At around 11.30am, Ma, Papa and my brother Gaurav came to take me for the ceremony. This was to be held in the Gurudwara. The baraat (Groom's people) had arrived at around 10.30am at Hotel Sepal, had their breakfast and were waiting at Gurudwara.

When I reached Gurudwara, my brother and cousins left my side to search for Adesh's juttis. Jutti Churai is a very entertaining ritual of Indian shaadis. And my brother wanted to make the most of it. More about it later. When I entered the Gurudwara, Adesh was already sitting and he was looking so handsome... I just couldn't keep my eyes off him!

The rituals started in another 10 minutes with ardaas, then Papa taking off Adesh's sehra, and handing me his palla. Then the reciting of the hymns started, that is the Anand Karaj. In Sikhism, there are four pheras around Guru Granth Sahib and these pheras are called laavaan. Each laan is preceded by reciting the corresponding hymn. After each laan, we bowed and sat down. Then, the hymn were recited for next laan, we got up, completed the laan and came back. After the four laanvaan were completed, there was ardaas again and we were proclaimed husband and wife! Congratulations followed.

After we came out, the drama of the cousins, with Adesh's juttis hidden, started. They were demanding money in return for the shoes. And, they got that too. It turned out that my smart brother bribed Adesh's driver to take out shoes from the car and his comment on the same was, "Its all about money, honey!"

Then me and Adesh accompanied by his sister proceeded for Hotel Sepal. We were welcomed by the band and went for the long and tiring photo session. Post the photo session, we were made to sit on a stage so that every one could see us. This was so embarrassing. Then every family came turn wise to give us gifts and get a photograph clicked. Aaaw... this is so bad. My face started aching from smiling so long.

Finally, after an hour we came down, sat with some relatives, danced a little and had lunch. It was already 3.30pm by then. It was time now for Doli. The details about this in next blog. I am done for today's typing.

Wedding Chronicles- VI

Ceremony- V: Choorha and Vatna Ceremony

Towards evening, on 17th Nov, more guest poured in. My mamaji also reached by dinner time. We had around 50 people roaming in the house around that time- kids watching TV, ladies gossipping with their respective set of relatives, gents chatting over drinks...

After dinner, at around 10.00pm when I most people had done with dinner, we all gathered for the choorha to be put on me. The choorha is a set of red and white bangles from maternal uncle, gifted to the bride as a symbol of marriage. So here I was surrounded by all relatives and my mamaji and mamiji on either side, ready to put on the choorha. The bride is not supposed to see the choorha till this moment. My Ma had put the bangles in milk to soften them, so that they do not scratch the skin while being put on.

It was a very emotional moment for me and to be very honest, reality struck me just then that tomorrow is actually my wedding. Till that moment I had seen only others wearing choorha, but now, here I had it on my own wrists.

Once I had the choorha on, Ma was ready with vatna, which is a mixture of turmeric and gramflour. This is applied on the bride and is supposed to enhance her beauty. All cousins and relatives took turns smearing me with the paste, and I started looking yellow after a few minutes. Hours spent at parlour gone waste in a few minutes!!!

And, in another half an hour every one was ready to hit the bed. It was going to be a very long day, the next day. As for me, I took a sedative to have a sound sleep. After all, the bride could not afford to have a tiring look on the special day... the photographs wouldn't come nice!!!

Wedding Chronicles- V

Ceremony- IV: Mehndi

The next day, 17th Nov was a day to relax a little, and I mean a little only. For me it was tiring as usual. We did not have any function. It was all family members only.

The morning was scheduled for Mehndi. We had called a couple of Henna artists to put mehndi on the palms of the females. And a special artist for the bride! It took full two hours for her to put mehndi on my palms, back of hands, arms, feet and legs. I felt like a statue being painted. In the meantime, all the ladies got over with their hands.

I had to keep it for the entire day. To delay the drying, my cousin kept dabbing sugar and lemon juice all over. Its really tough being a bride! When it was lunch time, Ma fed me with a spoon. Finally at around 5pm, I scraped off the semi-dry henna, but couldn't wash it till next morning. Already the orange colour had started to turn into deep red.

Wedding Chronicles- IV

Ceremony-III: Sangeet

On 16th November itself, after the guest left, we all changed, relaxed and gathered over tea for a gossip session. And, as per true Punjabi household tradition, I was the centre of all the banter. Finally by 5.30 all the rishtedars left to get set for an evening full of music, dance, food, drinks and FUN!

The Sangeet night, is a very important part of the wedding. In fact, I feel it is the most entertaining part. Friends and family members get together to sing and dance, to celebrate the wedding in the family.

It starts with involves gathering the neighbors by taking out Jago. Jago is nothing but a decorated pitcher with lamps on it. The females of the house carry Jago over their head and gather the neighbours- singing and dancing all the while.

Then singing the traditional songs called Suhaag. It is customary to sing at least five suhaags. And then we all hit the floor, dancing to the tune of the DJ. All this is interspersed with rounds of snacks and drinks and finally the dinner.

Overall a great evening and an important day of the Wedding Week comes to an end.

Wedding Chronicles- III

Ceremony II: Chunni, Sagan & Ring Ceremony

On 16th Nov, it was three ceremonies rolled into one function.... but at least a dozen rituals involved...

The groom's side visited ours for the chunni ceremony, proclaiming the bride to be theirs. The bride's head is covered with a dupatta, and she is given things symbolising a married woman- bindi, bangles, sindoor (vermilion) and some cosmetics.

Then was the sagan ceremony where the bride's family gives the groom some customary gifts. Also, asking him to drink a glass of hot milk, topped with dry fruit. It takes a lot of courage to drink the whole thing.

And, then comes the Ring Ceremony. We exchanged the rings, proclaiming the official engagement!

Not to miss the monetary gifts given to the bride n groom for each ceremony (that's the best part... we get rich just by sitting there!)

Wedding Chronicles- II

The next four days saw guests dropping in. Me and ma were busy doing last minute shopping, going for self-beautification(!!) and making arrangements.

It was a welcome relief after those three hectic days and rejuvinating for the more hectinc ones that were just around the corner.

Wedding Chronicles-I

Its been almost a month and a half since I last hit the keys for a post... but guys it is marriage season and when you are attending weddings you are so busy, especially if its your own!!!

Now, that I am back to work, though of sharing some experience. A Punju wedding has so many ceremonies and rituals...

This is the first in the series Wedding Chronicles, with a ceremony-wise account of how I spent an important fortnight of my life.

Ceremony I: 9th November, 2007

This was the Diwali day and also the day we started 3 day Akhand Path, then the kirtan and langar after that. One big function!

All started with Papa and Gaurav getting Guru Granth Sahib from the Gurudwara. Then after ardas the path started. From around 9 am on 9th Nov to 9am on 11th Nov, continuously the priests from the Gurudwara did the path. Finally on 11th Nov we has bhog.

The same day at around 11.30 am, we had kirtan at home, for around an hour. This was followed by Guru ka Langar. The blessings of the Almighty were sought before the commencing the auspicious ceremonies.

Pink all over

I see pink all over today... even I am wearing pink today- my favourite colour. In fact, I feel that when you are happy, you feel all pinky pinky... Pink on the cheeks, pink in the flowers, pink in the air!!!

PS: The photo graphs are from www.bigphoto.com

Shop till you drop

Its festive season. And its wedding season. And above all its my wedding!!! All the reasons to Shop till I Drop. For the last few weeks I have been busy shopping, shopping and shopping. I have shopped in Punjab, I have shopped in Delhi and I have shopped in Gurgaon Malls. And most of the times, by the end of the day, all the fun goes out of it.

But I have learnt quite a few things. I can now distinguish between different types of crepes and silks... Jamawar, Brocade, Tusser, Tanchoi, Tissue, et al. But, so much colour and vibrance makes me colour blind at times. I am just not able to distinguish between different shades of pink or green or blue! Aha, and the jewellery!!! For myself, Ma, Grandma, In laws... Whosoever said 'Diamonds are a girl's best friends' was so true.

For me, it has been an excuse to indulge myself in the luxury of picking up things on impulse. Wow! And for once, Ma has not been after my life for the number of clothes and shoes and bags that I have.

As the weekend approaches, I am all geared up to go on a shopping spree. Yes, yet again!

Rocky, Rocky, Rocky...

On Sunday, I had bought the CD of the 2006 Sylvester Stallone movie Rocky Balboa. For all the Rocky fans this is a must watch. And, believe me it is a treat to watch Mr Stallone as Rocky yet again.

Like all others in the Rocky series this is also about a boxing fight and what goes into Rocky's preparation for the same. But, this one is special, as it has come after a long gap in the Rocky Series. Also, it has an older Rocky coming out of retirement to fight for pride.

I just loved watching Sylvester Stallone. As the crowd cheered, I also chanted "Rocky, Rocky, Rocky...".

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Just finished reading the book The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.

A very well written book, I must say. I am no professional critic, but as a reader I enjoyed reading the book. Eddie, the protagonist of the book, puts in some valid arguments which are well replied to. Overall a good reading for those who like self management with fiction.

Festivities are here...

Its the best time of the year for me, the season I love the most. With winters just around the corner and the weather become a little chilly... I like it!

First it was Eid. Then Dussehra, the festival celebrating the victory of Good over Evil was celebrated on Sunday. It was preceeded by Navratras. Hey it is the Festival Season... I had colleagues fasting for nine days and then the Dandiya nights.

Well well well Delhi is already celebrating. Malls lit up. Markets decorated. Gurgaon has swanky office buildings also decorated. Its a good feeling. And shopping in the midst of all... Wow!!!!!

Will post some pictures of the decorated city soon.

I am just waiting for Diwali to come...

Suhana Safar Aur Yeh Mausam Haseen...

This song from 1958 movie Madhumati is what came to my mind today morning, as I was driving to work.

Early morning in September end. The air is a little chilly, reminding that winters are going to 'knock-knock' soon. And then it starts drizzling. The effect is awesome. I just love this weather, though it gives me cough and cold every year!

But as soon as I get going on the road, the effect had changed to impact. Even a snail could move faster than the traffic en-route my office. The safar is not that suhana! The only company I have is the FM radio in my car, with Khurafati Nitin playing his pranks on callers on 93.5 Red FM. And as the chartbusters are played one after the other, I too hum along. Yeah... Bajaate Raho!!!

Only change is constant

Its again been a long gap since my last post. Well well, my coordinates have changed again. And I think this is a good enough excuse. Actually, not really.

I have moved to Delhi and changed organization as well. So, was busy travelling and settling down. All I can say now is 'once a Delhite, always a Delhite', at least I can afford to say this for the moment.


The resolution is back again... to improve frequency of posts. Hope I keep upto the targets!

No Work @ Work

Around three years back when I started my first job, I was an enthusiastic B-School pass out with dreams in my eyes and passion to work and grow in the corporate world. I used to be immersed in work. I changed organization and work fascinated me more. Some times I would just wish and hope that there were no work to do for a few days. It would be so relaxing, I could do so many things, starting with leaving office at sharp 1800 hrs!

I am pretty sure, a lot of the working class feels and wishes and hopes the same. And people, my wish has just come true recently. For the first few months in my current role, I was nose-deep in work. Even working on Sundays, travelling all across Punjab. I must admit that I enjoyed it but silently dreamed of lazing around in office. Recently, my prayers of those days have been answered. For the first few days I enjoyed going to office at 10.30 am, having my cup of coffee, checking e-mails, searching the www for some updates. Gossiping with the team members came next, followed by wishing the Birthday Babies. And, then its time for lunch, followed by another gossip session. A little work to justify my employer transferring money into my bank account every month. But overall a very sarkaari kind of workstyle. I would leave at dot 1801.Wow, how relaxed I felt!

Those of you getting jealous and letting go off your envy full throttle, HAULT! It is not as rosy as it appears to be. Believe me, after a week of this work life you will do anything to get work! Getting paid for doing nothing is not as easy as it seems. The mind starts to rust. How many cups of coffee/tea will you drink in a day? How much gossip will you do with others over days and days? How many hours of wilfing can you bear?

I am still an ambitious worker in a big corporate with big dreams, but having no work at work is a pain in the wrong place! And, it is extremely difficult to bear it. Those who can relate to this scenario, and looking out for remedies, be a little more patient. Soon, I shall be an expert at guding how to cruise through the difficult times.

Getting Wiser

A friend went through my blog recently and commented that I am getting wiser. Every one gets wiser with age, but what was the need for that remark??? Then he pointed at the recent two posts on getting more etiquettes and a better dressing sense!! Well, in that sense I am much wiser, I must admit.

In our routine browsing of the www and while wilfing, all of us come across loads of information. Some flies as OHT. For the uninformed, it means Over Head Transmission (OHT is a term we coined in our engineering days). Some of it is understood by us, we do like it also but, still we do not implement it. And the remaining little, we do understand and implement too. Let me stop beating about the bush. All I want to say is that with the information I have definitely become more dress wise and e-wise. And this information falls in the last part of getting and implementing information.

How I have implemented this info is, one, I have stopped using different coloured fonts in my mails. Its been over a fortnight that I sent a coloured mail! My colleagues will vouch for that.
Two, I have started smart casuals in office, even on weekdays and Saturday is reserved exclusively for Funky T-shirts.

And now, I have another chance of getting wiser, on the spiritual side. Over the last week I have been attending Yoga classes in the morning. Believe me, it has been really effective. Less stress and sound sleep. Wow, I am loving it! Another benefit that I am counting on (literally) is weight loss! I am through with 6 days, lets see how many more days I last in this mission of increasing the Spiritual Quotient. The mission is ON...

Office Dressing- The Code

I had mentioned in an earlier post (E-etiquette Wise) about a gentleman whose e-mail had led me to my search. Co-incidentally (or may be something else) the same gentlemen turned in office this Tuesday dressed in a very very weird T-shirt, and here I was getting orders from my manager, and yours truly was searching on 'Dress Code'.

Well, I had done similar research a couple of years back in my previous organization, and was sure that this one too would be a cakewalk. Though I knew that I would have to tweak few things as per my current organization. As I started checking relevance of my material, I was surprised by the results.

A couple of years back, the dress code for corporates was formal dressing for weekdays and smart casuals on Friday or Saturday, depending upon whether you worked five days or six days. The IT companies, though, were rewriting the code, courtesy the trends in the ITES sector. But majorly, the companies stuck to the formal code.

But now, the rules have changed. Most of the companies today follow the simple code of Dress to chill. Women come dressed in kurtas, funky skirts and wrap-arounds. Business suits, sarees and starched cotton salwar-kameez are reserved for power meetings. Gentlemen prefer the good old pair of jeans, khakis and chinos.

With more and more young blood getting pumped into the corporate world, even the very formal business suits are getting designer. Board room dressing has definitely come of age. Hugo Boss, Armani and other top brands are adding extra punch.

But the old school of thought still maintains that what you see is what you get. A formal attire leads you to behave in a very subtle and elegant manner, while the casual look gives an air of informality and "to hell with rules" kind of a feeling.

The debate is still on, and it depends on where you are working and with whom you are working. But there is a class of workers which chooses the workplace based on the attire it permits! An acquaintance had once turned down an offer to work with a top company just because he would raise brows if he ever walked down in shorts!!!!

As far as I can see, casual's the word. But, people, its safe to keep a mix of clothes.

As for me, I am much more dress-wise , but I could definitely do with some wardrobe tips.

Visit to Wagah

During the month of March, I was visiting Amritsar and had a chance to visit Wagah Border. Though I have lived in Punjab for most of my life, but never got a chance to visit the border. For those who are not aware, Wagah border is the border check post between India and Pakistan. It is around 30 minutes drive from the Amritsar city. I was accompanying my boss, whose friend had arranged for seats in VIP area (One of the many privileges still available in India!)

As we were approaching the border side, I could see the fencing that had been done across the fields to mark the end of our country. I felt an unusual sensation and it was exciting! With grandparents who had immigrated from the other side at the time of partition, I have very mixed feelings about our neighbour country. Nonetheless, I was too excited to visit the check post. Well, it was Sunday evening and we were going to witness the very famous closing ceremony. There were hoards of people on every possible mode of road transport heading towards the border.

As we approached the border and alighted from our vehicle, I could see the BSF and Pakistani Rangers, standing across the fence. Our guide informed us that there were many farmers on the Indian side whose land was on the other side. They have a pass and they cross over every morning, till the land and return at sunset. I had heard and read about all this, but watching those farmers crossing back was something different.

Finally, after various points of checking, we were able to view the 'Point Zero', which marks the end of Indian territory. There is an amphitheatre on both sides of the border. As the time of closing ceremony was approaching, the rush of people kept increasing. I could feel goose bumps on my arms.

People were clicking pictures at the gate. There were loudspeakers blaring patriotic songs on both the sides. One of the many differences that I noticed, on the Pakistani side, there were separate seats for males and females. One side had women in colourful burqas, while the other half had men mostly in kurta-salwar. While on the Indian side there was no such demarcation!

The drama began when a man with a microphone emerged in the centre of the crowd and started urging the crowd to repeat the slogans after him. And he started, "Hindustan Zindabaad" The crowd went berserk (including the two of us!) shouting after him.
Then came "Bharat Mata ki Jai", and the third one "Vande Matram". We have all done that during our school days, but there at the border, my voice had a new enthusiasm. I was experiencing patriotism of a different kind.


Our patriotic slogans were followed by similar shouts from the other side, "Allah o Akbar" and "Pakistan Zindabad", with equal fervor.
After various such rounds, a few puzzled foreign tourists sitting next to me asked, "What are they saying?" I explained to her and with an amused look on her face, one of them asked, "But why do you need to shout that???"

I just could not explain that to her. I feel, no one else anywhere in the world can feel the same way as Indians and Pakistanis do here. I have known people from both nations to be at very friendly terms when together in any other part of the world, but here it all changes!
May be the feeling that comes while watching an Indo-Pak cricket or hockey match, can come very close to this.

Anyways, the wait for watching the very famous ceremony of gate closure and taking down of the National Flags, was worth it. As the sepoy blew horn, indicating the time, the guards from both sides came marching. There feet almost touched thier turbans!!!!!!!!!!! You have to watch it to believe it! And enjoy it!

As the guards shook hands for the last time for that day, and the National Anthem was played, the National Flags of both the countries came down in perfect harmony.

Our visit had come to an end, but something inside me had changed forever. I had heard about it from friends and relatives, who could not explain it, but now I know why they could not. All I can say is that each of the fellow countrymen should visit the place at least once. It is worth it!